Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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