it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize