...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
