I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
