In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
