Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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