you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
