did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just cropdusted the office
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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