hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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