Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
