Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
