is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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