we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
two words: eviction party
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
