Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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