I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
pray to the hookup gods
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
