i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize