There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
