You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
