Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize