Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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