how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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