I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
