i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
