My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
