A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
