3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
