Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
