I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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