I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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