It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
