the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
