We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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