i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
