There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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