She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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