can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
