Duck Duck Cougar?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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