talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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