I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
