Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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