i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
