the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
