He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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