I cockslap morals
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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