But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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