Define "chronic" masturbator.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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