My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize