oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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