What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize