I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
