Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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