Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
