There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
