i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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