I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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