yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize