Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
