Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize