I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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