My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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