So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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