On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
