mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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