Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
