We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
