I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
