i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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