Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize