I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Everyone says I win the strip club
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
