Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize