thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
