overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i've created a new STD.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
