hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
