You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
