What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
