my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
