Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
