i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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