Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What drink are we having for lunch?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
