I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
